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I've discovered a very nice little device in Blog: the <More> tag. It automagically throws the rest of the entry to another page to be read or ignored at the reader's pleasure. You'll note that I've elected to call the link to the extended entry The Naked, Ugly Truth
and there is a very good reason for that. Many blog writers retain full anonymity. The advantage being that they can say exactly what is on their mind without fear of repercussion as the readers don't really know who they are. Obviously I don't quite enjoy anonymity here at the Whinery. Instead I've opted to use The Naked, Ugly Truth (The NUT - unintentional but very apt acronym) to give vent to what I'm really feeling. Now just to give fair warning, I'm not pulling any punches on The NUT pages. For example, whenever we confront another person there is the actual conversation that occurs and then there is the slew of things that we thought but never said. If you are brave, or foolish, enough to venture into those dark places then be forewarned, you may come face to face with the faceless, nameless demons that sometimes lurk within the dark corners of my mind. You may even find that somehow you have been woven into the subject matter of The NUT. Of course, now that I've said that it'll probably become a favorite here at The Whinery.
I am in a very vindictive and foul mood. When I feel like this I most often just shut myself away physically, verbally and mentally and let these feelings moulder and rot away. If I don't then the very things I'm writing here would rush out in a flood and devastate those around me. The problem with doing that is that anything rotting tends to put up quite a stench. So, instead of letting these feelings, thoughts and emotions run their putrid course; I am just going to dump them here and be done with it.
The kids and I have been trying to practice Yoga together each night. Having to focus on one's self is a great challenge at times for them but they seem to really enjoy it and I know that I love the interaction with them.
I set the TV to video feed and played back some of the music portion from one of my Yoga DVDs. Now it had been my practice to hold a session every night before bed and every morning. My out of state trips put a damper on that but I've been trying to get back into the habit. Shanna has remarked that since I've been practicing again that my temperament has mellowed greatly and yet tonight when I came back downstairs the DVD had been shut off (I had intentionally left it running while we put the kids to bed so I could just move right into my own practice) and one of the many incessantly puerile television shows was in full swing. Shanna asked me if I wanted to do Yoga and offered to leave the room and read in our bedroom if I did. In one simple move all of my efforts with Yoga, the improvements to my own health, my mellowed temper and my overall happiness were, in my mind, completely marginalized. Wounded and very angry I brushed the whole thing off and retreated to my office, the one corner (literally) of the house that I really feel I can call mine. I wanted to ask her if she really needed to ask such an worthless question. Let's see, do I want to do something that will improve my sleep tonight, help me to wake refreshed before the alarm clock goes off and will help me relax for the meeting I have with the general manager tomorrow? All of which she knows about from multiple conversations that we've had in the past. Would I like to do something like that? Of course not, what a foolish question! I would much rather have the life drained out of my soul by sitting in front of the television watching mindless drivel for the rest of the evening!
I just want to finish up tonight by saying that The NUT is very cathartic. It's not a pretty thing to read and I actually wouldn't recommend it to anyone but that is a huge load off my mind. Have a great evening, I'm heading into the family room to kiss the woman I love and head off to bed. Good night all.