It's been a slow couple of days.  We've had rain since Friday and I just love it.  There is one problem with rain, it really slows me down.  I love to just listen to it, I love to feel rain drops hitting my face and making runnels down my cheeks and chin.  Unfortunately, Utah rain is always very cold rain so I prefer to remember back to my summer in Florida where the rain was warm.  Either way, I love to hear the steady drip, the loud silence that a steady down pour makes as it drums in the leaves and on the ground.  Living in a desert, rain is a rarity but during this drought it's been even rarer than usual.  The result, other than throwing some band aids on the bathroom faucet leaks (they need to be completely replaced which means I have something else to add to the saving list) and run interference for McKenna's part, I have done nothing since Friday afternoon but enjoy the rain.  I thank God for the rain!

I guess that's not entirely true, about doing nothing else, as I've done a lot of thinking.

At every turn it seems that every time I make any headway on clearing our debt or saving enough money to purchase something we need (a stove and now new faucets are currently at the top of the saving list) that there is a major drain on the family budget.  Most of the time this drain has a name and carries a checkbook.  It seems that financial responsibility wasn't something that Shanna was ever taught growing up and when she starts feeling out of sorts, the budget takes a hit.  Thankfully, it wasn't a huge hit this time and someone upstairs made sure that a check was in the mail (literally, turns out we over payed our insurance deductible last year and the refund check came Wednesday) that covered most of the damage.  Still, that's a six week set back on buying the stove.  I really want to suggest that Shanna stop using the checkbook and deal with a fixed, cash only budget.

Every Boy Scout that earns his Eagle is required to earn the Personal Management merit badge.  I would really like to suggest to Shanna that she complete the requirements but I don't want her to feel that I am patronizing her.  While I have been known to tread where even fools fear to go and come out alive if not unscathed, even I am fearful of treading down this path with a pregnant woman.  I have to do something though.  If something doesn't change, we'll never be debt free.  Even worse, if something happens to me she could easily put the finances into an irrecoverable tailspin and that's not something I could live with — Of course it's not, I'd be dead in such a situation but you get the point.

The whole idea goes against everything I believe though.  It took a great deal of effort on my part to convince Shanna that there was to be no my money/your money situation in our marriage.  Now it looks like I need to convince her to change that philosophy for a while so she can learn some basic fiscal skills.  The idea is distasteful to me because it sets up a potential inequality in our relationship that could easily lead to severe problems.  The last thing I want to do is try to help my wonderful wife improve herself and end up harming our marriage in any way.  Sheesh, I wish I could just listen to the falling rain.